Weight gain: Still at 20, thank goodness.
Sleep: I'm still waking up about twice a night. This morning I woke up at 5, and couldn't get back until 7. I have started taking a late morning nap on a daily basis. Definitely helps me get through the day.
Movement: This little guy has started the habit of having a little party in my belly in the middle of the night. Thankfully now that I am done work, it's not that much of an issue.
Favourite moments: Feeling him move when I sing. I don't know whether he's annoyed, or comforted, it's still precious to feel him respond.
Weird pregnancy things: It takes very little effort for me to become out of breath. The past 3 Sundays we've been rehearsing a song for our Christmas Sunday, and the amount of extra breaths I have to take while singing is quite entertaining. Luckily we're only singing the song once, because by the second time through it I can barely sing.
Happy or moody? Pregnancy has been such a great experience for me. I've had some little hiccups, but on the whole I've never been happier!
Belly button in or out? In
Stretch marks? Still none.
Looking forward to: CHRISTMAS!!!!! Can't wait to see family that we haven't seen since our wedding! Hopefully the baby co-operates and will kick for his Grandma and Grandpa.
There are so many things about this world that are so messed up.
I wish I could just completely shelter him and keep him close to us his whole life.
I don't want the world to destroy him.
Then I heard this quote and it gave me comfort.
The world is going to get much worse before it gets better.
We may not be able to control the world, or the experiences our son goes through, but we can control one thing.
We can control how we raise him, and what we teach him.
I want to be 100% invested in his life.
I want him to feel loved, accepted and valued.
I want him know that home is a place where he will always be safe.
Parenthood still terrifies me, to a certain extent.
But at the end of the day Alex and I will always do what is best for this little one.
I just hope he realizes that.
I am no longer a retail worker.
This is the first time in since I was 5 years old that I haven't been in school, or been employed, or both.
I must admit, I feel slightly strange with this whole concept that I am not returning to work.
Don't get me wrong, all I've ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom, and now that things are actually happening I find myself thinking:
"Is this for real life?"
I'm terrified, excited and completely dumbfounded.
So you may be asking:
"What on earth are you going to be doing for the next 3 months?!"
Well let me tell ya:
Me // First and foremost I plan on listening to my body and taking care of myself. A little bit of pampering and naps. Lots of naps.
Cleaning // Like I said previously I've been in a crazy nesting mood recently, and I plan to take full advantage of this and de-clutter our apartment.
Cooking // Now that I am no longer working, there's is no reason for me to be exhausted by the end of the day that I can not start becoming more adventurous with cooking. Making my first pork roast this week! Eeeek!
Cuddles // Since I used to have to wake up super early all the time, I usually went to bed a couple hours before Alex, so we couldn't cuddle to sleep. Taking full advantage of that now!
I just can't wait until I can meet the little boy growing inside me.
But for now I plan on making myself busy so time will just fly by :)
While I was reading an old journal last night, I had a thought.
Is this how I want to be remembered?
I wrote in this journal only 4 years ago, yet I cringed at how selfish and prone to complain I was.
Even though I was going through a pretty rough patch, I wish I had written in a more thankful and optimistic way.
I wish I could have handled those situations and trials with more maturity and strength, as opposed to pointing the finger at other people and talking about their faults.
I wish I had written more about how I was feeling, and less about events that have had absolutely zero significance in my life.
What would they learn from me?
How would they imagine me?
What characteristics would they want to emulate?
After that little epiphany I've come to a decision:
It's time to start journaling again.
But this time I want to really ponder and take time to write about my thoughts, my feelings and my testimony.
I want to be remembered as loving, gentle, and honest.
Someone who was less concerned about herself, and more for those around her.