+ wondering if I'm carrying a little girl or boy
+ thinking about how much life has changed over the past 2 years
+ eating cheese roll ups (wonder bread with melted Kraft singles rolled up in gooey greatness)
+ re-watching TV series backwards (trust me, you see so many new things if you watch seasons in the reverse order)
And I can't help but cringe every time I read them.
Alex and I have been married a little over a year, but I still think in some instances we're a little clueless and new to this whole marriage thing.
Yes we've had disagreements.
Yes I've had to remove myself from situations in order to cool down.
But that doesn't mean that marriage has to be this overly complicated battle that we need to label "hard".
There are so many different types of relationships.
Friend to friend.
Boss to employee.
Teacher to student.
Parent to child.
Sibling to sibling.
And just like every relationship, they are between two imperfect people.
Every relationship needs work in order to grow.
But if we focus too much on how "hard" the work may be, we loose sight of the beauty in each relationship.
What is hard is life.
Every family has different circumstances that can be very difficult.
But that doesn't mean that the relationships within that family have to be hard.
One thing that I will forever be grateful for is that fact that I never once heard my parents shouting at each other.
I was raised to believe that marriage is between two people who realize that they aren't perfect, but know that love is.
No matter what life threw at our family and their marriage, I never doubted their love for each other or for me.
When we went away for our anniversary weekend I remember thinking back on our first year as husband and wife.
Even though we had our stressful moments, I really don't remember the specifics of our disagreements.
What I remember the most is how much fun we had.
Yes life as a married person can be hard at times, but marriage is not.
And that is my rant for the day.
Alex is go go go with school and work.
I'm exhausted from working (even after only 3 shifts a week)
Looking at these pictures makes me miss the beach.
Time literally stood still for a week.
I just wish we could have stayed even longer.
Life is always full steam ahead, never stopping.
But once I step into the front doors, time seems to stand still.
All the worries and struggles of life go away and I get just a glimpse into eternity.
I am so glad Alex and I made the decision, before we had even met, that we would marry in the temple.
Neither one of us was willing to compromise on that.
That simple but significant decision has made all the difference.
Fall weather has arrived in Ottawa, and I am loving it!
Windows are wide open, boots and cardigans are being worn and the leaves are starting to change colour.
Even though this means winter is right around the corner, I still love this time of year.
It is a concoction created with Sierra Mist, raspberry syrup and freshly squeezed lime juice.
Heaven in a plastic cup.
I always have my favourite ice cream: Moose tracks.
This time, unfortunately (because of baby), my appetites are very random.
Food that I normally love, for the time being just make my stomach turn.
It kind of sucks.
Especially when I had to pass on my favourite ice cream.
Then again, it's worth it ;)
I like to call this little bump my "pooch". Still in the looks-like-she's-put-on-a-few-pounds stage1994
I am three years old.
I am helping my mom make cookies.
Since we're home alone, she gives me both mixer beaters so I can lick them clean.
I think I'm being super sneaky when I continue to scoop out a little dough and eat it, but I feel like she knew all along what I was doing and just let me have my fun.
Once the cookies are done, she pours me a glass of milk and we sit and eat a few.
We have countless home videos of me while I was a baby/toddler, but I think this is my very first memory, that was never caught on film.
I knew in that very moment, that I all I ever wanted to be was a mom.
Alex and I had a plan.
We wanted to have a year of being newlyweds before we started trying for a family.
But as we begun to pray about it, we felt we needed to start trying a few months earlier than planned
For the first time in my life I was terrified with the idea of becoming a mother.
And that feeling made me realize it was time to start.
After a false alarm, I kind of just stopped thinking about it.
July 26 2014
Out of nowhere I turn to Alex and say: "Maybe we should buy a pregnancy test"
I'm not sure why I felt this way.
I didn't think I was pregnant.
Nothing felt different.
But we bought the test anyway.
July 27, 2014
I go take a little tinkle, glance at the test after a few minutes and see: +
For the past year I have taken a grand total of 6 negative pregnancy tests.
I was so in the habit to seeing a negative that I was definitely not expecting a positive.
I burst into tears right then and there on the bathroom floor.
I run out of the bathroom and jump onto my sleeping husband screaming:
After a few minutes he finally comes to and we are giddy and excited.
I still feel like I'm dreaming.
That this pregnancy is all in my head, and there's no baby.
It's weird to think that the moment that I have been waiting and preparing for is finally here.
There's a little one growing inside me.
I get to be he/she's mom.
Don't get me wrong, I love walking on the pier, browsing through the little shops and eating pier fries.
But I could never actually spend my vacation there.
Too many people.
I much prefer being on a beach that is way less crowded.
It was so nice to have a week of no internet, just beach and family time.
The perfect getaway before school and work picked up again.
Maine has always been packed full of traditions.
One is to fly kites on the beach.
There is a simple beauty about watching a kite soar high into the sky without the worry of being caught in a tree.