The past few weeks have just flown by! I still can't believe that Calvin is already 3 weeks old! I can't remember life without him. The more I get to know him, the more I love him! The amount of support we have received from family has been incredible! Alex's parents came down last Wednesday for a visit and to meet their new grandson. It's been an absolute blast having them here! Playing games, going on walks, running errands, eating out and just catching up. We're definitely going to miss them when they go back home!
This past Sunday was Calvin's blessing. It was such a beautiful day spent with family. Growing up, I always loved hearing baby blessings at church, but hearing your own child's blessing is so much more special. One of our friends surprised us by writing down a few of the things that were mentioned in his blessing. It's so easy to forget what things are told us in blessings, so I'm glad that we will be able to read some of the things promised him as the years go by.
It really is quite amazing how such a tiny person can take up such a huge part in your heart. These two weeks have been absolute perfection. Calvin literally has been spoiling us. Giving us 4-5 hours of straight sleep at night, being super playful and attentive during the morning and evening, barely crying and just being a snuggle bug. We did have a few bumps in the road (breastfeeding), but all in all the beginning of parenthood has been beautiful. It still amazes to look at this little human and know that he is all ours.
I still can't believe how fast this pregnancy went! It seems like yesterday that I peed on a pregnancy test, saw the result and ran into the bedroom screaming with excitement to Alex. Although I did not do bumpdates for the entirety of my pregnancy, I have found it super fun to look back at the 20-40 week and see the changes and thoughts I was having.
Having Calvin here has been so awesome! I just want to treasure every single moment we have with him. I've already seen a change in him over the past week! So naturally, since this blog is a form of journaling and documenting for me, I thought I would transition from weekly bumpdates to monthly Calvin updates. So many changes are soon to happen, and I want to remember every single stage and moment.
Thursday April 2nd 9:30 am
I had a scheduled ultrasound appointment at 10am to make sure there was enough amniotic fluid and that everything was running smoothly (I was overdue by 8 days). While we were driving there I started getting contractions. I wasn't going to get my hopes up since this was a daily occurrence. Once we got back from the clinic, I noticed that my contractions were still happening. So at around 11:30 I started to keep track on my phone.
2:00 - 4:30 pm
Alex was heading to work for 3, so my mom came to pick me up to keep me distracted. Once we got to my parents house I thought it would be best if I went for a nap. When I woke up from my nap, my contractions were still regular (every 10-20 minutes apart). It was then that I realized this was it. Our baby was on it's way.
6:00 - 10:00 pm
I tried going down for another nap but was getting a little uncomfortable. My mom came into the guest bedroom and we continued to track my contractions and talk. At 7:30 my mom suggested we watch a movie. We watched Father of the Bride Part II, which was literally the greatest thing to watch. It kept me distracted, made me laugh, and got me over the moon excited about what was about to happen!! During the course of the movie my contractions were coming every 5 - 7 minutes and were lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to a minute. After 2 weeks of Braxton Hicks, it was so nice to actually have some progress with my contractions.
I called Alex at work at 9 and told him my contractions were getting pretty close together, and that he should probably leave work early so we can get home and call my midwife. At 9:40 we picked him up, and made our way home
10:00 - 11:30 pm
I called my midwife as soon as we got into our apartment to tell her that I had been having contractions every 4 minutes for the past 2 hours. At this point I could still talk through my contractions so she told me to take some Tylenol and Gravol, have a warm bath and try to get to sleep. Within minutes of hanging up the phone, things became very intense, very quickly. I couldn't get comfortable in the bath so we decided to try and go to sleep.
Alex then gave me a priesthood blessing which gave me comfort and strength. I used a tens machine on my back to try and balance out the pain. When we got into bed it was clear that I was not going to be able to sleep through the pain. My contractions were coming on faster, and I was moaning to relieve the pain. I kept trying to relax my muscles and give into the pain, but I couldn't do it. All I could think about was the Birthing Centre and wanting to be in their deep tub, completely surrounded with water. My mom called my midwife and we agreed to meet at the Birthing Centre and she would assess me there. She could hear me moaning in the background, and could tell things were moving quite quickly. I was a little worried because they will only admit you if you are 4 cm dilated. I really didn't want to deal with being turned away and making the drive back home. But Alex and my mom convinced me that it was probably best.
We arrived at the Birthing Centre after what felt like the longest and most painful car ride of my life. I was having contractions every couple minutes and the pain was getting stronger and stronger. When we arrived I had to stop 3 times just to walk to the entrance. We immediately went into a consultation room where Khadija (my midwife) did an internal to see how far along I was. As soon as she said: "3-4 cm", I let out a huge sigh of relief. My mom turned to her and said: "Better get the tub running."
12:15 - 1:25 am
Being submerged in the water and laying on Alex was the greatest feeling in the world. I was able to just let my body float during a contraction while leaning my weight against Alex. He was such an incredible support both physically and emotionally. I couldn't imagine doing it without him. I remember at 1 I turned my face towards Alex and said in an excited tone: "I wonder what he is going to look like!" It was such a random burst of excitement, that only lasted a couple seconds, then I was back into my rhythm.
For most of the labour I was laying on my side just floating on top of Alex, then at around 1:15 Khadija suggested I move to my knees and lean on Alex's legs. It was pretty uncomfortable to move, but I trusted her. Once I changed positions I had the strongest urge to push. Every single contraction felt like my bowels were going to explode if I didn't push (sorry but that's labour for you!). I remember pleading with everyone saying: "Can I please push now?" but the answer kept coming back as: "Not yet." I looked at my mom and said: "How much longer?" to which she replied: "Still a bit, but you are doing wonderfully."
At 1:20 I had had enough. I looked over at my mom and said: "I can't do this anymore". Up until this point my mom had no idea that I was in transition, but as soon as I uttered those words, I could tell by the look on her face that she knew I was ready.
I felt a little "pop" and bubble come out and Khadija said: "Your water just broke. I am going to do another internal to see how much you've progressed." Then the beautiful words: "You are fully dilated." I immediately responded: "That means I can push now???!!!!" "That means you can push."
I must admit that pushing was such an awesome feeling! Although it was painful, there was a slight enjoyment to it. I knew this baby was coming soon and I felt a wave of adrenaline come over me. With every push I felt more and more empowered and in control. I was bringing a baby into this world and I couldn't believe it.
By this point I was now on my back, still leaning against Alex. Khadija called in extra help, since this baby was coming fast. Heather walked in, in complete shock saying: "You're already pushing? I can't believe it, you just got here! I didn't even hear a thing and my office is right next door!" I felt pretty proud of myself when I heard her say that.
The baby's head started to crown and Khadija asked if I wanted to feel it, which I did. It was such a weird feeling, not at all what I expected. Super soft and slimy, but it did not feel like a head.
The next few pushes burned like crazy. I could feel my pelvis expand as his head stretched anything and everything. At 1:45 his head was out.
After 41 weeks and 2 days he was finally here. Our little boy that was completely 100% ours. I was exhausted, I was grateful, and I was completely in love with Alex and our son.
When I think about my labour, I am still shocked at how quickly and completely "according to plan" it went. There was never a time when I felt like I was out of control. I was in active labour for only 2 hours and 45 minutes. In the space of 2 hours I had gone from 4 cm to 10, and a few pushes later he was here. I know this is totally uncommon (especially for your first baby), so I am going to try my best to not expect such a smooth labour for pregnancies to come.
Since the labour was so fast, my body didn't do so well in the hours following. It took my midwife 30 minutes to stitch me up, his shoulders had done quite a little number on me. And to top it all off I fainted... twice, which meant I needed to be sent to hospital via ambulance to be monitored for the next 24 hrs. But I was ok. I had the birth experience I wanted, my baby was healthy, we just needed to make sure I was healthy.
The hospital experience was intensely frustrating and exhausting. My body had simply gone into shock, and after a few hours of "rest" (or lack thereof since it is impossible to sleep in a hospital) we knew I was ready to go home. Unfortunately getting me discharged was a nightmare. A paediatrician and a nurse tried quite a few scare tactics to get me to stay in the hospital, but they didn't pick their battle well. Alex and I, along with the support of my mom, stood firm and started to pack our things. I was ready to be home.
Getting to know this little guy the past few days has been so beautiful. And let me tell you, fatherhood looks pretty dang good on Alex ;)
I couldn't bring myself to writing another bumpdate, so instead I am going to share my thoughts over the past few days.
Well here we are: April. I must admit that I am completely surprised that I've gone this far. I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be late, but I really didn't think I would go to April. The past week has been full of ups and downs on the emotional roller coaster. I've experienced contractions every single day for about a week and a half now, got my membranes stretched and swept on Monday, and lost my mucus plug yesterday (TMI? too bad!). Everyday when I feel a contraction I think: "This could be it. The contraction that starts everything." Then after having regular contractions for 30-50 minutes, it randomly stops. It's been driving Alex and I a little crazy.
It is quite pathetic how impatient I have become. Alex and I were blessed with getting pregnant after only 3 months of trying. There are countless couples who have tried for years, and still haven't gotten pregnant. I've had an incredible pregnancy, while there have been so many of my friends that have such a rough and miserable 9 months. I mean what do I have to be impatient about? This baby has to come out one way or another. I should be grateful for the experience I have had, and that there have been no complications. But all I can think about is how much I want to hold this little one in my arms. I want to kiss his little nose, play with his fingers and fall head over heels for him.
Anyone who is part of the blogging community knows that over the past 3 months there have been a crazy amount of bloggers who have had their first babies. It's been so much fun to go along this journey, and to be able to see how other women are experiencing it. With that being said it's been torture every time I have gone on Instagram. My feed is just full of newborn babies (some were even due after me) and I just wish our son could be here already! And to top it all off, my subscription to Barycentre just sent me an email entitled: "My baby this week - Your 1 week old"... yeah still no baby thank you very much!
Looks like this son of ours is going to have my personality: stubborn and determined to do things his way in his timing. I feel like I have done everything to coax him out. I have been going on walks (long walks). I have had my membranes stretched and swept. Alex and I have had some romantics moments (sorry not sorry). I have been doing squats. I have been taking Evening Primrose Oil. My mom has been pushing on my pressure points. I just went for a pedicure and had the massage chair on high. He just seems to be taking his sweet time.
This post is pretty much just a jumble of things I have been feeling. All in all, I'm still feeling great. Just everyday I wake up wondering if today will be the day we welcome him into the world. Could it be today? Please, let it be today.