30.9.15

HOW WE WORE IT: FALL TRANSITION

Today I am super to excited to be participating in Brooke's blogger series: How we wore it. The whole idea of the series is to re-create an outfit using items we already have in our closets. What I love most about this series, is that everyone interprets each outfit so differently. I've always loved reading these posts, so I thought I jump on the bandwagon and participate as well.

First things first, this month we were sent an outfit from Emily of Living with Emily 
To be honest when I first saw this picture I had a mini panic for multiple reasons:
A. I can no stand wearing heels on a day to day basis
B. I own little to no colours in my wardrobe.
Then I realized, the whole point of this series is to look at the outfit and see what things stand out to you. To me I see a pair of everyday blue jeans, a flowy top and neutral shoes. Which pretty much translates into what I wear every single day :)
 Check out other bloggers who participated. If you want to sign up for next month's How We Wore It, visit Brooke's blog and click the link at the end of her post.

Brooke at Silver Lining
Robin at Penn and Quill
Kyla at FordOlogy
Sierra at Sierra's View
Sharlee at My New Lines
Aubrey at Aubrey Zaruba
Jennifer at The Pepper Express
Amy at Harris, Inc.
Ashley at Absolutely Ashley
Berkley at Berkley Anne
Riley at Riley Jo
Tayler at The Morrell Tale
Jacqui at Drink the Day
Maren at Mark and Maren
Brooklyn at Brooklyn Jolley
Sarah at My For Real Life
Madison at Madison Custer
Amy at Lamb and Ivy
Alicia at Snowstorm
Shelby at R + S Brereton
Alexa at He and I

25.9.15

ANXIETY

When I was younger I remember multiple times getting sick before or during a certain event. I used to think it was the anticipation, but it was not. It was because I suffer with quite a few different forms of social anxiety. I've never been officially diagnosed, or sat down with a professional to talk, but looking back at experiences I've had throughout my life it's clear that anxiety was always present. 

In grade 1 I would cry every single day when my mom dropped me off at school. I never really knew why until years later. I had a great group of friends, but if a teacher scared me, or I knew I would have to do a certain assignment I would get knots in my stomach and I wouldn't want my mom to leave.

In high school (particularly grade 9) I would stay home multiple days in a row because I would physically be sick. I'd be bending over the toilet almost every morning. I literally thought I was just sick until one morning when I was trying to convince my mom to let me stay home and she told me I had to go. I really thought I was sick until I opened up to her on her bed. I attended a public elementary school, and then switched to a Catholic high school. Almost all my school friends went to Carine Wilson, while I went to St Matt's. I literally felt that everyone was watching me at this new school. If I didn't sit in the back row, I would become self conscious about myself. It got so bad that I even thought when I would hear a siren that something happened to my family and wasn't there to be with them. They were such weird thoughts, but again I didn't fully understand that it was anxiety.

In university (from 2nd year on) I felt so lost and uncomfortable. I hated attending classes because I didn't want professor's to ask me a question and put me on the spot. It even affected me at church. Attending YSA and institute was literally one of the hardest things for me. Not only did I feel like people were judging and talking about me, but I felt so exposed for some reason. When I was dating Alex there were so many times we were supposed to go on dates and I would ask if he could just bus over to my house instead of meeting somewhere. Doing simple things like taking the bus, making a phone call or approaching someone at church became so hard. 

I remember one night my mom came into my bedroom with a book and some CDs. She told me that she had suffered from anxiety for a long time and these things help her get through it. I was absolutely furious and offended that she thought I had anxiety. In my mind that made me crazy, and all I wanted was to be normal. Little did I know that anxiety is a very normal thing. I regret how close minded I was. I regret how I would shut her out, when I should have opened up. I mean she could helped since she experienced things very similarly to me. 

It wasn't until right after Alex and I got married that I admitted I suffered from anxiety. Everything I had experienced started to make sense to me. But unfortunately admitting it, didn't make it go away. When it was time for us to pass out our thank you cards, I was terrified. I couldn't bring myself to go up to people scared that a conversation would start and I wouldn't know what to say. 

Now the reason why I've written this super lengthy, intense post is for this reason: Things are actually getting better. I really don't know how it happened, but for the past month things have been so much easier for me. I feel confident in my own skin again. I love being outside and around people. I am able to phone someone to make appointments/just talk. I can put myself out there at church, sit with someone who is brand new to the ward and carry a conversation without feeling humiliated. I am able to participate in a class and not feel like everyone is waiting for me to say something stupid. I'm able to take the bus with Calvin and not worry if people are looking at me or thinking judgemental thoughts about me. It has made such a difference in my life. I feel happy about every aspect in my life, and I can honestly say I haven't felt that way in a very, very long time!

I've never felt so liberated in my whole life. 

22.9.15

DRUGSTORE MAKEUP HAUL

Well hello, hello! Long time no video (is that even a saying?). Things have been a little crazy with Alex going back to school, me having quite a few photography sessions and buying a car, so I haven't been able to sit down and make a video, but I am back :) Like I mentioned in my about me video, I really like makeup. Like a lot! So I thought I would share a few products I've picked up from the drugstore recently.

14.9.15

THERE IS GOOD

Over the past couple days I've had two experiences that have reminded that there is still good in this world. I witnessed one take place, while the second was a good deed done to me. 

I've always been a people watcher. It may sound creepy but I find it fascinating to watch how others carry themselves and treat others. While Alex and I were grocery shopping on Saturday I witnessed one of the sweetest moments. Whenever we checkout, I take Calvin in the stroller and wait at the end of the register while Alex pays. It's the perfect time and spot for me to people watch since there are so many people coming and going. Amongst all the commotion of shoppers I noticed 2 girls that were around 13 years old walking passed each register looking at the people in line. I saw them talking to one another, nod their heads and stop at the end of a checkout lane. I didn't really think anything of it until one of the girls mom's came walking up to them and said: "What about the one in the pink jacket?" The girls shook their head and pointed to an elderly lady in cash lane 7. Anxious to see what this was all about I waited and watched. Once the lady had all her groceries in her cart the young girls went up to her and said: "We'd like to help you bring your bags to your car and load them for you." The elderly woman's face lit up as she expressed her appreciation. The mother went on to tell the lady that her daughter and friend thought of the idea themselves and just wanted to help. It was so beautiful to see a couple of teens go out of their way to help someone in a such a small yet profound way. They weren't doing it because they had been asked. They weren't doing it because they were doing a fundraiser. They just wanted to make someone's day easier and better.

The next experience happened late this morning. The weather has been cooling off around here, so I made a goal to go out everyday with Calvin. Whether it be on a walk, go somewhere on the bus or just do a little errand, I want to take as much advantage as I can of the beautiful weather before winter comes. Today I decided to get a couple things at the Shoppers Drugmart across from our apartment. Since I was going to be using my baby wrap, I put my phone, keys and some cash all in my jean pockets. When I was walking back to our apartment I could hear a few people in the parking lot behind me making a little bit of noise. I thought they were just talking among their group so I kept walking. Then I had a sudden impression to check my back pocket. The cash I had been carrying was no longer there. I had a whole 3 seconds of panic until I realized the people behind me had been trying to get my attention. I was completely unaware that the cash I had been carrying slipped out of my pocket and onto the pavement. Luckily this small group saw it happen and immediately gave it back to me. They could have easily picked up the money and just carried on as if they hadn't noticed, I mean after all it was only $15. But instead they caught my attention and returned to me what was mine. 

I know it's wrong to admit, but sometimes I assume the worst in people. I find the world is just spinning out of control these days, and it terrifies me to think what the world will be like as Calvin grows. But these experiences give me hope. Hope that my child will grow in a world that is full of people wanting to do good. Hope that even though we know things will get worse, there will always be a pocket of goodness that will remain untainted. Hope that child will find these good things and cling onto them. Hope that my child will be the good others need. 

11.9.15

FRIDAY FAVOURITES


+ This Instagram account. It's absolutely hilarious!

+ This song. The fact that Jojo is making music again has got me so excited! Brings me back to my early teen years.

+ "At-home-buns". Been wearing my hair in a bun almost the whole week. Hooray for growing my hair out!

+ Netflix binge. I've been re-watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix and I've forgotten how much I love this show. The best part? Mentioning to Alex how much I love the name Lorelei and he agreeing with me. Adding that name to the list!

+ Car shopping. Over the past week and a bit, Alex and I have been running around test driving cars and spending hours researching. We've finally found a winner and if the mechanic gives it a thumbs up we will have our very own car next week!! Since this is the biggest purchase either one of us has ever done it's quite terrifying. Luckily we've been very blessed, and wise with our spending that we are able to pay up front instead of having to deal with monthly fees.

+ RB photography. After taking about a year off from my little business, I decided to start things back up again. Over the past week I have had 2 sessions, and scheduled another 4. I'm planning on updating my equipment soon, and all these sessions will be able to cover to costs which is awesome!!!

7.9.15

A LITTLE TOWN BY THE SEA

As I mentioned in my previous post, on my favourite places is Ocean Park Maine. Stress just seems to leave my body the minute we drive over the train tracks and enter this little piece of heaven. Over the past 24 years not much has changed about this place. Time has stood still for this little town by the sea and I feel like a kid again every time I go back. 
This year I decided not to post anything on social media until after we got home. It was so nice to take a break from Instagram and blogging, and focus 100% of my time on family and the beach. It's not even been a week since we returned home, and I already miss it like crazy! Luckily I know that everything will be waiting how we left it. Perfect.

5.9.15

SHARING PLACES

When I was just a couple months older than Calvin, my family vacationed for the first time in this little oceanside town in Maine. I have gone every summer since then (except for 3). There is something so special about sharing these places and memories with my new little family. I love how Alex loves this little piece of heaven just as much as I do. 
This year we will able to dip Calvin's feet in the water, and to my surprise he wasn't bothered by it at all. Looks like we got a little fish on her hand. Are we really that surprised since he was born in the water? 
Since we were in my favourite place, I thought it would be fun to have my dad take some family pictures of us. Clearly I'm too cheap to hire a photographer, so I pointed and told my dad what shots I wanted while he took a bunch of pictures that I edited when we got home. The joys of having a father who knows how to handle your camera.

3.9.15

CALVIN: 5 MONTHS

Age: 5 months

Clothing: 6 -12 months, size 3 diapers

Eating: About 3 weeks ago Calvin started going 4-5 hours between feeding during the day. 

Sleeping: He is still sleeping through the night and wakes up like a dream. Whenever we walk into his bedroom to get him up he just lights right up :)

Baby Development: He is so close to rolling over, but still nothing yet. He is now able to bring toys/soothers to his mouth on the first try. 

Likes: When I was pregnant I used to sing Edelweiss, and he absolutely adores it when I sing it. If he cries and I start singing then he stops and listens. It's seriously the sweetest thing! He absolutely loves the sound of his own voice. Such a little squealer!

Dislikes: Teething. The only time he is inconsolable is when he is teething. Luckily it only lasts about 20 minutes. Tylenol has been helping a lot and just walking back and forth with him in our arms. It hasn't effected his sleep, thankfully.

Other: We just got back from our annual trip to Maine on Wednesday and this kid was incredible! On the 7hr trip we only had to stop once (both on the way there and back). He just talked and slept the whole way!

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